These last couple days, words have been itching to come out of my fingers. I guess it’s because Brian and I aren’t texting or talking every hour of the day so I have a lot more thoughts built up in my mind and they need to be let out.
I really have been exploring a more spiritual path these last couple days. I have never been religious by any means despite being raised strictly Catholic. I cringe at the idea of having to go to church. But I’ve always thought I needed some other kind of spiritual path.
Several years ago I began learning meditation. That lasted for about a couple months and then my iPod broke and I haven’t bothered since. I think the results were too minimal for me to find any value in it anyway.
And then when I wanted to lose weight, I started to learn pilates. Now that I was able to get into. Plus I saw a definite improvement in my core strength and flexibility.
Now I’m looking into practicing yoga, which in a way is almost like pilates and meditation combined.
The sad thing is that as I’m exploring all of these things I’m looking into, I want to share it with him, my excitement, my wonder, my fear, and my curiosity. Because when you’re embarking on something new and exciting, you want to tell your best friend and, well, he’s been mine for the last 6 months.
I guess that’s the thing about this separation. It made me happy to share my life with him because it validated it. But no one else can validate my life but myself. No one but myself can make me happy. And now I just have to figure out how. On my own.