It’s Spelled G-O-O-D, Motherf#$%&er!

Sometimes I post sarcastic comments on Facebook about the men I meet just for laughs.

Granted, not everyone makes it to my Facebook wall, just certain ones. Like Creepy McCreeperson at Buffalo Wild Wings. And the Latino construction worker who messaged me when all he had in his profile was “I single.”

Yeah, there are some real winners out there.

Today I posted about a 23 year old law student that messaged me. And of course, I made a comment about how he would have been too young to get all of my Seinfeld references. The first one to comment was my cousin’s husband, who said, “You may want to broaden your horizons or you might be posting the same things alone in 20 years, just a thought.”

Whoa. Hold the phone. I read the profile of EVERY guy that writes me, regardless of how awful their initial message is. I also go out on dates with a new guy every week so yeah, I think I’m pretty sure I’m an equal opportunity dater. On top of that, if I gave EVERY guy a chance, I either wouldn’t have enough time to sleep OR I would end up murdered and dismembered in somebody’s detached garage.

Last week, one guy messaged me who seemed really nice at first until I discovered he was an awful texter. I asked him how work was and he responded with, “Bz. U” Translated: “Busy. What about you?”

I asked him how he was doing. He responded with, “Gud.” Translated: “Good.”

Seriously, I considered setting a date with him just so I could walk up to him, punch him in the face and say, “IT’S SPELLED G-O-O-D, MOTHERF#$&@R!” and then walk off.

If he hadn’t called me at that second, I would’ve stopped talking to him. Even on the phone, our conversations were one sided. It was mostly me asking him questions trying to start a conversation, and him answering but not really engaging. After a while, I realized he was chatting with me only because he was waiting for me to invite him over.

So no, I am certainly NOT going to entertain every single man that crosses my path just to “broaden my horizons” because I don’t want to waste their time, nor do I want to waste mine. I am a nice catch. I’m smart, funny, sweet, and caring. Any man would be lucky to have me. But I’m not just going to let anyone give me a trial run just because they asked.

That’s for ME to decide.

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