It was our second date.
He picked me up at my apartment in his sporty sedan. As I got into his car, I said, “Hello there,” and he brought his finger to his lips and pointed at the dashboard navigation system. Evidently he was on a work call over the bluetooth speaker. I silently mouthed an, “Ohh, ok,” and nodded my head, closing the door.
We drove to the restaurant without really speaking to each other. I just watched the passing scenery and gave him directions every once in a while. They were talking about the job he was in town for. Evidently he was getting a lot of resistance so he was just venting his frustration to his colleague.
When we got to the restaurant, a busy little burger joint off the tollway in Addison, he transferred the call to his cell phone and we walked side by side while he continued to talk. I started to pull open the door to the restaurant when he gently grabbed my elbow and gestured for me to stay back.
Confused, I nodded and stayed outside with him. Then I just played on my cell phone for a bit while he finished his call. “Ok, that sounds good,” he said to his colleague. “I’ll give you a call when I get done with the evening. Bye.”
He ended the call and he smiled at me. “Hi,” he said.
“Hi,” I said, smiling.
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to kiss you.” And there in that busy parking lot, he leaned down, wrapped his arm around me and kissed me sweetly on the lips.
I smiled up at him, “Oh, ok.”
Public displays of affection are alien to me. Secretly I always knew I longed for it, but the relationship I was in before was severely lacking in it so I learned to just deal.
But then as I started dating and I realized how much I wanted physical touch. Holding hands, cuddling, kissing, and peripheral touching all became an important factor in who I wanted to date. And that got me thinking, how could I have known 5, even 10 years ago, who I wanted to marry when the guy I thought I wanted to marry didn’t speak my love language?
I feel like I’ve changed so much and I’ve experienced so much these last 4 months that I’m almost relieved that I didn’t settle. I mean hell, I used to think I hated over-easy eggs and loved scrambled eggs. Turned out it was the other way around. Granted, I did stay in that relationship far longer than I should have, but I know now that it would have been a mistake to get married.
And in the end, I guess it was better to deal with a breakup than with a divorce.