Say What?!

• The Metaphors We Use at Work

  • “You know, it’s (insert client name). Their website is already coded ugly. Why bother trying to fit pretty code into it, you know? It’s like slapping makeup on an ugly woman. Why bother?”

• Oh Snap!

  • My coworker G. reminds me a lot of my cousins and could very well fit into my family dynamics without any problem. This is exactly why I love to pick on him. G: Is it just me, or is it hot in here? Me: It can’t be you. G: OK, that’s it. I’m bringing my [...]

• Zing!

  • This is an example of how cordial I am with some of my coworkers: Me: Hey G., can you open that graphic I sent you? I can’t open it. G.: Hmm, no. Wow, that’s weird. It opens up as a little thumbnail and then suddenly it says “File cannot be opened.” Me: Hmm, ok. I’ll [...]

• Reality Bites

  • Me: aw man, but i like being right all the time. Jabari: thats only with me Me: lol i can’t do that here at work? Jabari: nope. your wand of reality warping to fit your own needs doesnt work outside the confines of our relationship Me: Aw man…

• Who would’ve thought?

  • Daddy: Oh, did you know Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are supposed to be getting married today? Mom:  How did you know that? Daddy: She told me. (Much cuter if you can imagine an elderly Filipino couple talking with the accent.)

• Why Being In Tech Support Can Be Fun

  • Account Manager: This guy says they’re having problems viewing their web page in Outlook. What should I tell him? Me: Tell him to quit being stupid and stop using Outlook as a web browser.

• A Bicycle Built for Two

  • Jabari: im gonna start riding the bike. ben got one so were gonna ride often in the week Jabari: ya know, cause we’re gay Me: LOL Me: you said it, not me

• Which one NSync member was YOUR favorite?

  • Me: Justin is my favorite. Me: Don’t worry, you’re still my favorite too. Me: You’re like the 6th nsync member in my heart. Me: heheh Jabari: dont ever say that again Me: LOL

• That’s Why They Call It Love

  • Me: TITANIC IS ON! Me: heheheh Me: baby if we were in frigid cold water and there was only a raft big enough for one of us, would you let me stay on it? Jabari: sure. id kick some other white dude off *his* raft and we’d both get the hell out Me: lol oh [...]

• Mommy, Is There a Bad Joke Hell?

  • Me: They have naked karaoke!! Jabari: No they fucking don’t Jabari: That’s just. wow Me: I know, it’s… nuts. Me: *snicker* Jabari: you’re going to bad joke hell Me: heheheheheh Me: I bet it made you smile