katharses.org » Say What?!

Canada, Eh?!

Kristine — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 02:16:43 +0000

Jabari: Look at that. Let’s move to Vancouver.
Me: Canada, EH?!
Jabari: [Blank stare]
Me: A-BOOT!
Jabari: Maybe I should go alone. It’ll probably be easier for me to cross the border without you.
Me: HAHAH!

(Not to be mean to my Canadian relatives. Love ya, Cheryl! )

A House Divided

Kristine — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 18:46:33 +0000

A House Divided, originally uploaded by krisalis903.

Jabari: So I’ve decided to install Windows 7 on one of my main computers. I even have battle music on in the background just for the occasion.
Me: You mean the doomsday music?
Jabari: Shut up.

After Watching New Moon Last Night…

Kristine — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 14:57:44 +0000

Jabari: So how was the movie?
Me: I’m pretty sure I’m on Team Jacob now.
Jabari: TEAM JACOB!!! …So who killed the black guy?
Me: Oh the werewolves.
Jabari: [silence] …TEAM VAMPIRE!!!

Man Scrapper

Kristine — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:31:48 +0000

Jabari: You should think about doing a layout a day for a whole month.
Me: Actually, yeah that’s what the December Daily album. I just have to get all the pages and stuff ready and then once December rolls around, all I have to do is take pictures, journal, and maybe finish with some embellishments.
Jabari: See, I’m smart. I didn’t even know you were doing that.
Me: You are! Maybe we should scrapbook together.
Jabari: [Pause] How did we make the leap from me being smart to me being gay?

A Conversation While Watching “Pearl Harbor”

Kristine — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 04:19:21 +0000

Me: Darling, if I thought you died at war, would you be mad if I got with your best friend?

Jabari: You mean if I died and you couldn’t find anyone better than Ben? No, I’d feel sorry for you.

When One Channels Chuck Norris in Her Sleep

Kristine — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 14:15:26 +0000

Me: Did I kick you in the head last night?
Jabari: Yes, you did.
Me: You shouldn’t have had your head there.
Jabari: I was sitting up!
Me: Oh [pause]
Jabari: And you sounded ok with it. I said, “Did you just kick me in the head?” and you said, “Yes.”
Me: Well you still shouldn’t have had your head there.

So Good I Had to Dedicate A Blog Post to It

Kristine — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 20:45:00 +0000

Me: So when you went to get your hand checked out, did you put “Cut my hand opening my gentle foaming facial cleanser” as your reason for your visit?
SG: not gentle….has salicylic acid. hardcore manwash!!!!

I highly doubt Biore’s foaming facial cleanser in a convenient pump bottle can be considered “hardcore manwash.”

A Shining Example of AT&T Wireless and their Lightning Fast Speeds

Kristine — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 03:21:46 +0000

Vanessa: where did you send the picture to?
Me: i know i sent it to your phone number
Me: lemme check
Me: yep, cell phone
Vanessa: doh, not here yet
Me: well it’s AT&T, you know their lightning fast speeds. *rollseyes* they’re still printing the picture out for the pony express guy to take over to the sprint center to scan it.
Vanessa: LOL

10 minutes later…

Vanessa: dang it, they must be using a dot matrix printer
Vanessa: and i think the dude is on a donkey
Me: HAHHAAHHA

16 minutes after that and over 50 minutes after the original message was even sent…

Vanessa: LOL…it JUST came!
Me: LMAO he was finally able to get the donkey to move!
Vanessa: haha, yes!

Dietician, I Am Not

Kristine — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 00:15:14 +0000

After learning about how California became the first to ban trans fats…

Me: But that’s weird. Isn’t Crisco a trans fat? I think I remember seeing it at the store with the “0g Trans Fat” label on it.
B: I think trans fat is the product of the cooking process. Now, what you get after frying chicken in Crisco, I’m not sure.
Me: You get some gooooooooood chicken!

Mmmm… Formaldehyde… Delicious AND Nutritious!

Kristine — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 17:15:25 +0000

The Boss: Man, we go through the Diet cokes like crazy. [Takes Diet Coke from fridge and starts walking away.]
V: Yeah, but I’m totally going to stop now because once it gets into your body, it turns into formaldehyde.
The Boss: Is that true?
V: Yep.
The Boss: [Walks back to fridge and returns Diet Coke.]

Let the Trash-Talking Commence

Kristine — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 01:41:01 +0000

Me: Oh, hey G. Do you have your plate ready?
G: Plate? What for?
Me: For when I hand your ass to you at Tetrinet!
G: How long have you been wanting to say that?
Me: For a while now.

And BTW, his ass did get handed to him

The Ease With Which I Publicly Admit My Cheesiness is Surprising

Kristine — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:18:25 +0000

Client work is sometimes frustrating. Occasionally it helps to be silly to relieve stress. Or in my case, really cheesy.

Me: Well, 1. it looks like the website. and 2. they approved the comp.
Jabari: so. give him the number 1 and some number 2
Me: lol i have my number 1 (holds up one fist) and number 2 (holds up the other fist) right here
Me: heheh
Jabari: oh jeez. put those down.

Working Hard for The Money

Kristine — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 21:16:18 +0000

Jabari: so… i was playing the zelda game on my DS, and i got to this part where it wanted me to shout real loud. but im at work. so i had to pause it, go lock myself in my car and wait till there was nobody walking past, and then go OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! into the speaker
Jabari: then come back in to my desk like nothing weird at all is happening
Me: LOL
Me: that’s just really awesome
Jabari: must obey the DS

Facebook Faux Pas

Kristine — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:14:59 +0000

G: I think I’m going to start signing all my emails, “Hugs, G.”
Me: That’s not far off from you sending an invite to everyone in your address book asking them to be friends with you on Facebook.
G: Touche.

And BTW, he totally did accidentally invite everyone in his address book. It was awesome

You Say To-may-toe, I Say To-mah-toe

Kristine — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 17:27:05 +0000

So Jabari has convinced me to try playing World of Warcraft. After learning that rule #1 is playing on your boyfriend’s server, I had to recreate my character much to my dismay. Here’s how that conversation went:

Me: bah. i can’t have that name
Me: hm…
Jabari: is the name important?
Me: lol uh no. the outfits are!
Me: you want me to play right?