Say What?!

• Canada, Eh?!

  • Jabari: Look at that. Let’s move to Vancouver.
    Me: Canada, EH?!
    Jabari: [Blank stare]
    Me: A-BOOT!
    Jabari: Maybe I should go alone. It’ll probably be easier for me to cross the border without you.
    Me: HAHAH!
    (Not to be mean to my Canadian relatives. Love ya, Cheryl! )

• A House Divided

  • A House Divided, originally uploaded by krisalis903.
    Jabari: So I’ve decided to install Windows 7 on one of my main computers. I even have battle music on in the background just for the occasion.
    Me: You mean the doomsday music?
    Jabari: Shut up.

• After Watching New Moon Last Night…

  • Jabari: So how was the movie?
    Me: I’m pretty sure I’m on Team Jacob now.
    Jabari: TEAM JACOB!!! …So who killed the black guy?
    Me: Oh the werewolves.
    Jabari: [silence] …TEAM VAMPIRE!!!

• Man Scrapper

  • Jabari: You should think about doing a layout a day for a whole month.
    Me: Actually, yeah that’s what the December Daily album. I just have to get all the pages and stuff ready and then once December rolls around, all I have to do is take pictures, journal, and maybe finish with some embellishments.
    Jabari: See, [...]

• A Conversation While Watching “Pearl Harbor”

  • Me: Darling, if I thought you died at war, would you be mad if I got with your best friend?
    Jabari: You mean if I died and you couldn’t find anyone better than Ben? No, I’d feel sorry for you.

• When One Channels Chuck Norris in Her Sleep

  • Me: Did I kick you in the head last night?
    Jabari: Yes, you did.
    Me: You shouldn’t have had your head there.
    Jabari: I was sitting up!
    Me: Oh [pause]
    Jabari: And you sounded ok with it. I said, “Did you just kick me in the head?” and you said, “Yes.”
    Me: Well you still shouldn’t have had your head there.

• So Good I Had to Dedicate A Blog Post to It

  • Me: So when you went to get your hand checked out, did you put “Cut my hand opening my gentle foaming facial cleanser” as your reason for your visit?
    SG: not gentle….has salicylic acid. hardcore manwash!!!!
    I highly doubt Biore’s foaming facial cleanser in a convenient pump bottle can be considered “hardcore manwash.”

• A Shining Example of AT&T Wireless and their Lightning Fast Speeds

  • Vanessa: where did you send the picture to?
    Me: i know i sent it to your phone number
    Me: lemme check
    Me: yep, cell phone
    Vanessa: doh, not here yet
    Me: well it’s AT&T, you know their lightning fast speeds. *rollseyes* they’re still printing the picture out for the pony express guy to take over to the sprint center [...]

• Dietician, I Am Not

  • After learning about how California became the first to ban trans fats…
    Me: But that’s weird. Isn’t Crisco a trans fat? I think I remember seeing it at the store with the “0g Trans Fat” label on it.
    B: I think trans fat is the product of the cooking process. Now, what you get after frying chicken [...]

• Mmmm… Formaldehyde… Delicious AND Nutritious!

  • The Boss: Man, we go through the Diet cokes like crazy. [Takes Diet Coke from fridge and starts walking away.]
    V: Yeah, but I’m totally going to stop now because once it gets into your body, it turns into formaldehyde.
    The Boss: Is that true?
    V: Yep.
    The Boss: [Walks back to fridge and returns Diet Coke.]